Canonical List of Famous Last Words
251-500
- "This flickering torch light is playing tricks on my eyes. It almost seemed as though that chest moved by itself."
- "Demogorgon."
- "What's the duration of this Fly spell?"
- "I don't understand. It should be dead by now."
- "Finally! I thought that troll would never die."
- "If we look brave and fearless, they won't attack."
- "I'd feel better if we had some crampons. Oh, what the hell, let's go for it."
- "I wouldn't worry about the thieves' guild -- they don't have a clue who did it."
- "Aha! So you're the [killer/spy/vampire]!"
- "It doesn't look very fast; we can easily swim across."
- "While they're fighting the dragon, I sneak around behind him and examine his hoard."
- "I wish we had a 10 foot pole. Oh well."
- "Ha ha ha! Let's put bookworms in his spell research library."
- "I rolled a 20. How could that be a miss?"
- "I've got plenty of spells; I don't need to carry a weapon."
- "I'm heir to the crown. They wouldn't dare!"
- "Don't you understand? The odds will be even. If we can't see them, they can't see us."
- "Who's bringing up the rear?"
- "It's only one wight. The others are just ghouls."
- "But [longbows/match locks/nuclear weapons] haven't been invented yet..."
- "Look, I don't care what you think of her, or her "demonic smile." She's hot to trot. So, if you'll excuse us..."
- "I've got better things to do than run your petty errands, your highness."
- "What?! I thought you said fifTEEN kobolds."
- "It'll be a short ocean voyage. One week's worth of food and water will be enough."
- "I won't fall in; I just want a better look at what's down there."
- "Ochre jelly? Ok, everyone, break out the bread and the peanut butter."
- "Quit clowning around. Look, whichever one of you is doing that, it's not funny."
- "Hey! Where's my components?"
- "For some reason I had always imagined that bugbears were somewhat smaller."
- "A trap? That's exactly what we're supposed to expect. I think this DM is more imaginative than that."
- "After what we took, he won't be able to afford an assassin."
- "They're usually not aggressive. If we leave it alone, it'll leave us alone."
- "Wanna see my new spell?"
- "Something's wrong with my d20."
- "That was no healing potion! I'm gonna kill that swindler!"
- "Ha! That's the oldest trick in the book."
- "Hey, Bill, cast a Detect Invisibility, quick. Bill. Bill? Where's Bill?"
- "Cover me."
- "I think it's asleep."
- "Look at the size of those tracks!"
- "Can you make out this next rune? It looks like someone spilled coffee on this scroll."
- "..23..24..Well, that's the last of his arrows."
- "Watch this."
- "Well, if I remember correctly, it's AC 7, 3+1 HD, 1d8 damage. Hmm..."
<scribble> <scribble>
"I should defeat him around the 4th round and still have about 12.5 hit points left. Ok, let's rock!"
- "No problem! I'll just cast a ... whoops, I forgot. I'm just 2nd level, aren't I?"
- "Did you see that guy's head? I wonder what did this."
- "Damned be him who first cries, 'Hold, enough!'"
- "If you cut me down, I will only become more powerful."
- "Zoinks! I sure hope that's just Scooby behind me."
- "I ain't afraid of no ghost."
- "Geez, I'm kind of low on funds. Ok, I'll take 500 gp for the healing potion."
- "I bet it's just an illusion."
- "Well, at least I tried...?"
- "It's only an illusionary red dragon!"
- "I'll attempt to patch it up." {...finding a hole in the cargo bay of the orbital shuttle}
- "I'll cut the red wire."
- "Hey, I'll try to hide in shadows." {Room full of Shadows(kind of monster in AD&D)}
- a)"I cast a powerball." {inside an elevator}
b)"I shoot him with my laser." {inside a crowded elevator}
- "I cast a hellblast." {at a gas station}
- "Let's blow open the airlock."
- "I jump from our car into theirs."
- "YOU are the UGLIEST guy I've ever seen." {to an 8 foot tall troll}
- "What do you mean 'the bullets are just bouncing off'!"
- "O.K. pal, take your best shot."
- "Let's rush them."
- "There's no way they'll ever find us."
- "What could possibly go wrong?"
- "Him? What is HE doing here? I thought we killed him!"
- "I throw a grenade at them." {in the middle of a weapons storehouse}
- "Guys, I'm out of ammo."
- "I tackle her." {She was a wolf shape shifter in human form}
- "Dragon? What dragon?"
- "I shoot a missile at one of the Wasps."
- "Does anybody in the group have Doc Wagon?"
- "A juggernaut? What the hell's a juggernaut?"
- "Get him!"
- "I give him the finger..."
- "He has a threat rating of WHAT ?"
- "Guys, there's some giant bugs in the hallway."
- "Do you think it's a toxic spirit?"
- "What's with that wierdo with the teeth?"
- "I put my AK97 under my coat and go to the subway."
- "How many teeth does it have?" {character used to make chains of the teeth of his dead opponents}
- "'Brak'? That's a stupid name for a barbarian!"
- "Blue, no...wait, Yellow! Aaaaarghhhh" {to a bridgekeeper}
- "Shit, it's a minefield, leggit !!!"
- "Call me Kregor the Undying!"
- "Let's split."
- "They will flee in terror from my <name of Assault Mech Class>"
- "Feel like surrendering ?"
- "Give you my T.O.&E ?! Figure it out yourself..."
- "It's only infantry."
- while rolling dices "Please God, not an ammo explosion..."
- "Stupid fool. Tried to scare me by firing LRMs at my feet. I charge right at him." {character standing in a minefield}
- "Sure you can use the LRM Carrier platoon in this scenario ."
- "Airstrike? Sure.....But I get one too."
- "I'll hide my ship near the planet's ring?" {which is where several hundred nuclear missile-equipped automated battlesats were hidden}
- "That's an interesting headband you're wearing pilot Smith."
{kamikaze headband}
- "I'm sure reinforcements will get here on time. They promised."
- "Say, what's that red dot on your forehead?" {laser sight}
- "I'm a vampire. No mortal can kill me."
- "What a stupid 'bot." {It was a hunter-killer drone}
- "Jamming at full power, they'll never scan through that!!" {enemy used anti-radiation missiles}
- "What kind of idiot would set boobytraps in his own home?"
- "No, I wasn't reading the module. I was just looking at the pictures."
- "Black Ice in Mom and Pop's Grocery?!" {front for money launderers}
- "Funny, doesn't *look* like a cyberpsycho...." {but it was one}
- "Corporate geek, huh? I throw my beer on his fancy suit!" {Arasaka exec with bodyguards nearby}
- "No security force is *that* fast responding."
- "I have a very bad feeling about this."
- "I'm sure they didn't trace me."
- "I throw the grenade..." (Onto a porch less than ten feet away)
- "We'll let him fire the mortar, he's not to good with a gun."
- "Um... I charge the machine gun nest."
- "I think I'll rob that place."
- "Naah. He's the DM, he never kills PCs."
- "I turn the red gem so that the little carving points right at the one on the wall above it. Then I rotate the ..."
- "No, you idiot, they can't hear us crawling around out here!" {yelled to another PC}
- "So they have a tank...big deal! I have an M-16!!! I can kill it."
- "What do you mean they threw it back ?"
- "There is only two left..."
- "No, sir. We're gonna protect this fire base. They won't get past us... ...Arc Light ?!?! What do you mean the B-52s are on their way ???" {after being ordered to evacuate a camp that will be attacked in four hours}
- "Switch to 2nd Edition? Okay, what the hell..."
- "Do something, SCHMUCK !"
- "Hey, wow, something that really DOES 'go bump in the night' !"
- "One of these must be the right one...just start pushing buttons at random, we'll hit it."
- "In my present mood I could cast 'Speak with Dead' and talk to myself."
- "Oh, that's just a flesh wound."
"Ach, is doch nur 'ne Fleischwunde..." {in German}
- DM: "You know you're 6' high and sitting on a 3' high horse in a saddle designed to keep you from falling. Now you're charging at full speed into a 7' high cave. What are you going to do ?"
PC: "Hit my head on the cave roof ?!" {He took a *lot* of damage...}
- "I just HAVE to know what that magic trap(/item) does."
- "Oh, that bat's not much of a problem." {playing ULTIMA Underworld}
- "Let me have this stupid skeleton with my two-handed sword."
- "I tell the guard to go fuck himself, but I say it in a nice way."
- "I wish all these bloody things were dead." {spoken by a PC wearing a ring of wishes (he didn't know about), the entire party was wounded so they died like two of ten demons they were fighting.}
- "You are on my side, aren't you ?!"
- "Open that door, slut!" {said by PC to another PC(female fighter), she cuts him in two after that}
- NPC: "Surrender !"
PC1: "Don't shoot. I give up, but let this guy(PC2) go, I took him as a hostage..."
NPC: "Okay, okay, but first of all drop all your weapons!" {said to PC1}
PC2: {taking out his Heavy Autopistol} "Shall I drop my weapon, too ???"
- "Computer, I'd like to register my mutation... It's Machine Empathy."
- "Sacrifice...?"
- "My Skill? ... Vehicle Operations... Flybot...! ... Oh shit!"
- "I'll try to fix it."
- "I step back as far as I can." {In an elevator}
- "I try to talk to the blob."
- "A Communist sticker on the Warbot? ... I'll shoot it off."
- "I'll put my head in, and see what's inside."
- PC1: "So... who knows how to drive?" {noone knew but they didn't care...}
- "You mean this suit is nuclear powered? Get me outta here! ... Guys?"
- PC: "Citizen Marks-R reporting treasonous activity in a corridor." "What colour corridor is that, citizen?" {computer} "The corridor? Umm...It's Blue."
- "It has an ejector seat? I pull the lever." {in a helicopter-like Flybot}
- "Beeping? O.K. I put it back in my holster."
- "I'll hold my breath and run through the gas."
- "I'd better carry the explosives, I've got demolition skill."
- "Oh shit... I'll try to teleport again."
- "Umm... Do I have a gas mask?"
- "I knock at that door."
- "Save vs spell ? Why ? Doesn't matter! I've got a save on a 4." {said it rolled his dice and was disintegrated on a roll of 3}
- "I try to resurrect him with this rod."
- "Was that rune inscribed on the cage important ?"
- "Want some help ?" {said by a magic apprentice}
- "Quick !! How does one UNSUMMON a demon lord ?"
- "I wonder what this wand does ?" {waving it around}
- "Remember that demon that you HAD imprisoned down in the cellar ? Well..."
- "I thought lighting the candles around the pentagram was YOUR job."
- "I finally shot that owl that's been following you around !"
- "By the way, what's the reverse of "summon"?"
- "That fire wand only had 25 charges left on it ?!"
- "How does one control something once it gets out of the pentagram ?"
- "The warding circle for this demon wasn't continuous before, was it ?"
- a) "Let's see what'll happen when I mix these two potions together ?"
b) "I mix the potions and drink."
c) "I'll mix these potions and see if I can't get a better one..."
- "So this wand fires a fireball if I point it at something and say 'Braxat'?"
{ Boom !!!!!! }
- "You wouldn't happen to have a banishment spell memorized...?"
- "Hey, I bet I can do that better than you can!"
- "Oh, that component was worth THAT much ?"
- "But this was supposed to be foolproof!"
- "I thought you said "Cone of Cold" not "Coin of Gold"!"
- "What kind of glue do you use to fix a DragonOrb ?"
- "Master, I kind of forgot to feed your familiar." {never seen again}
- "What's in this bottle ?" * POP * "Uhh... oh-oh..."
- "Sorry about that, Master. I promise I won't wave your wand around again... Hmm...what's this frog doing here ?"
- "Is this scroll pronounced 'HAStur HAStur' or 'HasTUR HasTUR' ?"
- "Hey, where did I put the top to this Decanter of Endless Water ?"
- Master: "Hey, where is my staff of power, you know, the one with the rune on
it ???"
Apprentice: "Was that your Staff of Power ? That end table in the den at home needed a new leg and you TOLD me to fix it ..."
- "Okay, I put the fire resistance potions in the red bottles, and the cold resistance potions in the blue. Or was it the other way around ??"
- "I thought this spell required a 5-sided star..."
- "Master, why was this mirror lying faced down on the table ?? Master ??? Gee, where'd he go ? {scratches head}
- "We are all out of candles, so I used lanterns to surround the pentacle..."
- Apprentice: "Well, Master, I finally managed to learn the enlarge spell. Now, could you please tell me how one gets rid of a 50' big rat ?"
- Apprentice: "Excuse me sir but, theoretically, what would happen if someone summoned, oohhh, lets say a major demon from the 376 level of the Abyss ?"
- "With this body in my possession I shall now rule the world!!"
- "Why does the writing on that book disappear while I am reading it ?"
- "That nice wizard from across town paid me
2000gp to deliver this box to you... Me thinks -- It must be some kind of clock !"
- "Let me control this steering-wheel now."
- PC hires NPC to be a spy; PC is in contact with NPC via walkie-talkie :
NPC:"I see it coming...aaargllhhhh" {sough}
PC :"What do you mean 'aaargllhhhh'? Hey man, I've paid for this."
- DM:"All of you successfully hit the dragon. It doesn't do anything."
PC:"You mean it doesn't even wake up?"
DM:"Suddenly, from behind you a *living* white dragon..."
- DM:"You crash through the door and find about 10 goblins. They look surprised."
PC:"I say, 'Boo'!"
- "Come on, there's no such thing as a sword made of arsenic..."
- "It probably just wants to be friends."
- "Don't worry, what are the odds of rolling a 1 on a d20 ?"
- "It doesn't look like anyone is hiding in here."
- "Aw, come on. I'm sure he's forgotten about that last time."
- "I light the torch. What do you mean there is a sizzling sound ?"
-* BOOM *-
- "I'll kill that sucker if it's the last thing I do." {It was...}
- "I hear a clic-clac? OK, I'll do a fast peek, like in Miami Vice. Those guys never got shot."
- "I bet this is not under current."
- "Come on, there are more good mutations than defected ones."
- "Who cares about f*king telepathics. Lets torch him."
- "I know how to handle a flame thrower."
- "I'm so tired. I'll sleep during my watch tonight. Nothing will happen."
- "I never fall asleep during guard jobs."
- "I want my reward."
- "I wake up quickly!"
- "Bugger! Failed my Intelligence test."
- "YES! A naked maiden in the woods, I just have to take a look."
{...visit the nymph...}
- a) "Anything but a fumble now...."
b) "What do you mean I fumbled ?"
- "I am not getting short-changed by this guy."
- "Let this Alien Queen come in. We'll roast her with our flamers...What do you mean 'no oxygen in the atmosphere' ?"
- "Ok, since I am going to die anyway, I pull the pins off all the grenades on my body..."
- "You must be kidding! No?"
- "Are you sure this female goblin could do 6 points of damage with flail ?" {He had only 5 points.}
- "Don't worry! I still have a dagger attack."
- "Come on, do you really think they could throw a grenade through that small window ?!"
- "I don't care. I'm taking a bath right now."
- "Hey, wake up, they're coming... For Heaven's sake, WAKE UP!"
- "No retreat, no surrender!"
- "Hey scumbag, we'll do it my way, or I'm gonna have to kill you."
- "Turn !!!" {to bone golem}
- "Sure, give me 5 cards." {from the Deck of Many Things, being offered by a man in black robes}
- "Look, you're on top of a building, you behind cover, he is firing full auto. There is no way he can hit you."
- "While my elemental is attacking, I'll cast Magic Missile..."
{to which the elemental attacked him}
- "What do you mean the skull is floating in the air?" {Demilich float}
- "Hey, she's female. Don't worry, this GM never has female villains."
- "My Character is being careful."
- "Isn't the rope double-secured up there!?"
- "A cute looking koala with a WHAT!? THEY can't use Kalashnikovs, no!?"
- "That auto-targeting laser can't hit me! I have human reflexes."
- "Don't worry. This is just another empty room."
- "Hey man, they're just two lousy orcs..." {He never saw ogres before.}
- "This trap only hits one time. Trust me, I'm sure."
- "Elves don't die. They live eternally." {Not this one, of course}
- "Shit. Why did I slay the healer ?"
- "NOOO, don't touch anything inside..."* BOOM * {inside a laboratory}
- "I can banish this demon."
- GM: "You encounter some goblins."
Party: "BANZAIIII" [charge]
GM: "Hmm, didn't I say, they're 84."
- "Don't worry. This ship won't sink with this little water inside."
- "Come on you cowards. This guy is dead since hundreds of years."
[kneeling near a skeleton]
- "Wait. Let me first look through the keyhole." [a trapped one]
- "What do you mean 'No reaction' ? I hit him again harder !"
- "Don't worry. With the amount of modifiers you've got there's no way he'll hit you."
- "He just fell off the 10th floor? I run over and catch him."
- "Live and let live ? Yeah, right!"
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